Creating a community of care around you is one of the most important—and radical—things you can do as a parent. It doesn’t just happen overnight. For some, deciding who to include can take time. For others, it might be obvious who they want by their side. Either way, the key is to notice who feels good to receive from. Who shows up. Who knows how to care for you in ways that feel aligned. Start there. Check in with yourself and your family often. Is your care circle still feeling right?
Learning to ask for help
Building a community is not just about identifying people—it’s about learning how to ask for and receive care. That can be a lifelong skill, we know personally that it takes consistent practice! Especially during pregnancy and postpartum, your ability to ask for help will ebb and flow depending on how resourced you feel, how your energy levels are and let’s be honest, how much sleep you’ve had! And that’s okay.
Some prompts to reflect on:
- How did you ask for help before pregnancy?
- How has that changed during postpartum?
- How do you want it to change in the future?
The more you practice asking, the easier it becomes.
Tailoring your ask
Not all support looks the same. Delegating your needs can help people show up for you in meaningful ways. Here are a few ideas:
- Need food? Ask someone to order a grocery delivery or drop off snacks.
- Need joy? Request a playlist, a bouquet, or an uplifting note.
- Can’t name your needs? Ask someone to take your baby for a walk while you rest and reset. Take care of your baseline and very basic needs (shower/eat) and then reflect.
Your community wants to help. Often, they just need to know how.
Receiving is a practice too
Receiving help can feel just as hard as asking for it. We live in a culture that teaches us to be self-sufficient, not to lean on others. But being cared for is deeply human. And your community likely finds joy in supporting you. Stay attuned to what feels good. Know who to turn to for different types of care: emotional, logistical, material, relational.
Some examples:
- Emotional: encouragement, validation, witnessing
- Logistical: groceries, childcare scheduling
- Material: meal drop-offs, laundry help
- Informational: finding resources, booking appointments
- Baby care: a break while you shower or nap
Community care evolves
As your parenting journey continues, your community of care will evolve. The people, needs, and dynamics will shift. That’s normal. Stay curious. Keep asking. Keep sharing. And check in with your people, too. How do they ask for help? How can you support them while maintaining your own boundaries?
Don’t wait for a crisis
Community care isn’t just for the hard moments. It’s for joy, celebration, and daily life. Let your people in on the good stuff too. Send the photos. Share the milestones. Plan the gathering. Care goes both ways.
Marking the transition
If you’ve reached the one-year mark, you might feel ready to honor the journey. Maybe that looks like a small gathering, a wardrobe refresh, or a new ritual. Whatever helps you feel grounded in this new chapter.
Parenthood is long. Let your care be long too.
You don’t have to do this alone.
Your community is out there. It’s built moment by moment, ask by ask, connection by connection. Whether you’re surrounded by friends or still finding your people, we see you. And we believe in the care you deserve.
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Want to learn more about cultivating community and asking for help or other helpful parenting practices? Check out our Early Parenthood course!
