Oh, the second trimester… a time where you somehow begin to magically forget the feelings of dread the first trimester brought. It’s almost like pregnancy is trying to gaslight you. “See, it’s not so bad growing a new life, sharing your body 24/7. You’ll barely even notice we’re here.”
This is how I felt weeks 15 to 20. It was like I became a brand new woman. Signing up for spin classes, planning trips, smiling again. I even wanted to have sex, who would have thought! Actually, sex was better than I remembered. I think this was a mix of both hormones and the 3 month dry spell combined. But suddenly, I wanted to have sex every night! Well, until I saw blood for the first time, and then I didn’t have sex for a week, hahaha.
But overall, life was on the up. An awakening of sorts. Feeling more and more like myself again all while feeling very different at the same time.
We found a doula… and then we found another doula. TWO doulas. Why not right? Why have one good thing when you can have two! I was feeling good. I AM feeling good. I have so much support, so much love and light surrounding me. Most days it’s hard to believe just mere weeks ago I thought I could not go on. Hormones are such a lovely thing, aren’t they?
I want to have more to say about the second trimester, I really do. But when things are going well, they tend to fly by… Because of this I did keep a pregnancy journal. A week by week telling of my feelings, cravings, aversions, enjoyments. Just so I can savour these good days for years to come. Or so I can remind myself next time around that it does get better!
My pitfalls of the second trimester were pelvic pain and near the end, fire breathing heartburn. The pelvic pain comes in spurts, almost like growing pains when you are little. Really intense for a day or two, then totally disappear. The fire breathing heartburn is much the same. Thankfully not a regular occurrence but when it strikes I cant lay down, can’t eat, feel like I can barely breath. I have no natural remedies that work. Please contact me if you do. Please.
I am learning a lot about myself as a parent, and the baby hasn’t even arrived. I am starting to acknowledge and work through the ways in which pregnancy seems to unravel deep traumas and problems within your relationships with yourself and those you hold dearest. I think at the beginning I had met this energy with resistance but I am now trying to stay curious. I have never been good at real life vulnerability. But I am learning that being vulnerable allows us to be heard and moves us away from feelings of not being understood. It allows us to help. Something we could all use more of in this society.
But that’s it! I am thankfully experiencing a very healthy, very normal second trimester. The baby kicks me for 20 out of 24 hours a day. Random women at work put their hands on my belly without asking. And everyone seems to think referring to my child as “they” means I’m having twins! All very normal, very annoying second trimester problems to have.
Written by Shania Lane
Photos by Shania Lane & Emma Devin
