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How to host a baby shower that doesn’t suck

by | May 2, 2024

I’ve been going to baby showers for a long time now. Many of my friends are a decade older than me, so in my late 20s and early 30s, many of my Sundays were spent hungover, playing weird baby poop themed games. And now over a decade later, I’m a mother of a 6-year-old and I still go to a few baby showers a year — although now just tired, not hungover.

I happen to think my friends are pretty cool, but somehow many of these parties lack a certain amount of creativity. Or maybe they have too much? I feel like a cranky old anti-mom even saying this, but I’m not! I’m just really not a #Pinterestmom, I’m not here to do what’s been done before, and I’m not a #BallerinaFarm girl — so what are parents-to-be like me supposed to do?

Here’s what I’ve learned after years of attending these things and now actually working in the birth and postpartum world: the party stuff matters way less than you think. The support stuff? That’s everything.

So yes — we’ll get to the food and the balloons. But first, let’s talk about the single most important thing you can do at a baby shower.

The Date:  

You can have the baby shower whenever you want, but generally speaking timing will be based on what kind of shower you’re having. Nesting parties and blessing ways have to happen prenatally, but other types of parties could happen after baby arrives if you prefer. Maybe you want to wait until the baby is a little older and people can meet them. Or, you can have it 4 to 6 weeks before your due date. It’s totally up to you. Time? Day? Hint hint… also up to you. Sundays are typically when folks tend to have them but maybe you want to do an evening event on a weekday because that works better with your schedule. I do know that pregnant people like to go to bed at 8pm (at least, I did), so often a midday or afternoon is best for your energy. 

The Food:  

Think classic charcuteries, mini sandwiches (tea time?), and snacking foods. Most baby showers are midday or mid-afternoon, so make sure your guests know there won’t be a full-meal-deal but to expect some snacks and treats! My mom and I are charcuterie queens so we would do this ourselves, but find that friend who hosts immaculate book clubs and put them in charge (or if any of your friends went to art school, they are the ones to ask). Don’t have those people in your life? Grab one of those premade, veggie-and-fruit platters and (gasp!) put them on the good china. There are also services that do this for hire, if you’ve got some cash to spare! You’ll likely want something sweet, so get some mini cupcakes, or a premade cake from a local bakery (unless you have that baker friend, then you know what to do!).

The Best Baby Shower Gift Is Actually Support

I’m going to say something that might ruffle some feathers: most baby shower gifts get returned, donated, or used exactly once. The bouncy seat, the wipe warmer, the sixteenth swaddle blanket — bless everyone’s hearts, truly.

What new parents actually need — and almost never ask for — is support. Real, practical, show-up-and-help support. The kind that makes the difference between a postpartum experience that feels survivable and one that feels really, really hard.

Here’s what to give (or suggest at the shower) that will actually matter:

Cash toward a postpartum doula

This is the one. If there’s anything I’d put on every baby shower registry, it’s a postpartum doula. A postpartum doula comes to your home — usually in those first few wild weeks — and provides hands-on care: newborn support, infant feeding help, meal prep, light tidying, and honestly just being a calm, knowledgeable presence when everything feels chaotic.

It’s not a luxury. It’s evidence-informed care that reduces postpartum anxiety and depression, supports recovery, and helps new parents feel less alone. The problem is it costs money, and most people don’t put it on their registry because it feels like “too much to ask for.”

So ask on their behalf. Organize a group gift. Collect cash from multiple guests and put it toward a few doula visits. If you’re the host, reach out to the family-to-be and ask if they’d like to add this to their registry — then put the information out there clearly. Even one or two visits can be transformative.

At Brood, we work with families across Western Canada and we make it easy to book care or gift visits to someone you love.

A meal train sign-up

Set it up before the shower, print a QR code, and put it on the table. MealTrain.com and TakeThemAMeal.com are both free and simple. Guests sign up for a specific date to drop off a meal, and the family gets a steady stream of home-cooked food in those early weeks when cooking feels impossible.

Pro tip: include notes about dietary restrictions and drop-off preferences (front porch, text first, etc.) so it’s truly low-lift for the new parents.

A cleaning service gift card

A few hours of professional cleaning is one of those gifts that sounds unglamorous and is secretly incredible. Finding a local cleaning service and buying a gift certificate is easy and will genuinely be used. Bonus: it removes the pressure of having to tidy before visitors arrive.

A postpartum or newborn care course

Knowledge is one of the best things you can give a new parent. Brood offers online courses covering postpartum, the 4th trimester, infant feeding, and early parenthood — all created with inclusivity and evidence-informed care at the core. These make thoughtful, actually-useful gifts.

A support fund

Instead of (or alongside) a traditional registry, some families set up a shared fund — a simple e-transfer pot or a GoFundMe-style link — that guests can contribute to for things like doula care, groceries, or whatever they need most. It sounds simple because it is, and it works.

Okay, Now the Party

The party absolutely still matters — it’s a celebration and it should feel like one. Here’s how to pull it off without losing your mind:

The date

You can have the shower whenever you want. Traditionally it happens 4–6 weeks before the due date, but you can absolutely wait until after baby arrives if that feels right. Sundays are popular, but a midday weekday works just as well. One thing to keep in mind: pregnant people are often exhausted, so midday or early afternoon tends to be kinder than an evening event.

The food

Think charcuterie, mini sandwiches, and snacky things. Most showers are midday, so guests won’t expect a full meal — just make sure the invite sets expectations. Grab a premade veggie platter (put it on the good china — no one will know), get a cake from your local bakery, and call it a day. If you have a charcuterie friend, deploy them immediately.

The drinks

Mimosa bar. Boozy or not — sparkling juice, bubbly water, coffee, tea. Set it up once and don’t think about it again.

The decor

Close Pinterest. Here’s all you need: three giant balloons from your local party shop and some flowers for the table. Done. If you want to go further, a paper garland you ordered online works great and can be reused for every birthday to come.

The music

Find a premade playlist on Spotify or Apple Music, press play, and move on. Done.

The focus

It’s the person having the baby. If they hate opening gifts in front of people — don’t make them. Set up a gift table and let them open later. Swap group games for a “best advice” box people can write in. Print photos of the parents-to-be as babies and let people ooh and ahh. Have a guest book. That’s genuinely enough.

The invite list

Start with the number of people that fits your space. Then invite the people closest to you — family, chosen family, friends. Think about who will actually show up for this family in the years ahead — that’s your list. Don’t feel like you need to invite only parents. Some of the most devoted aunties and uncles I know don’t have kids of their own, and bringing them in early is one of the most meaningful things you can do.

The Real Point

Throwing a good baby shower is about throwing a good party — but more than that, it’s about setting a new family up with a real support system. The balloons matter. The food matters. But the community of support you help build around them? That’s the thing they’ll remember.

If you’re planning a shower for someone you love, think about what they’ll actually need in month two, when the congratulations have slowed down and the hard part has really begun. A postpartum doula. A meal showing up at the door. Someone they can call at 3am who knows what they’re talking about.

That’s the shower that doesn’t suck.

Brood supports families across the Lower Mainland, Vancouver Island, Sea to Sky, and Calgary with birth doula care, postpartum doula care, and education. Want to give the gift of support? Book a call with us — we’ll help you figure out what fits.

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