Post written by James Matthews
Whoever said, “The days are long, but the years are short,” really nailed it. The shortest year of my life just came to a close. There’s a new marquee date in our family now—mid-February—pushing January 1 to the side in favor of our daughter’s first birthday.
I couldn’t help but reflect on an interview I did after my first month of fatherhood. I told Gill from Brood, “I need to give [my wife] Katie the most support I possibly can, and that’s what’s best for [our daughter] Louie. That will change over time, but in these early days, it works the best.”
A year later, I can give Louie more hands-on support. I dance with her when her favourite songs come on, share snacks and pieces of cheese—sometimes even off my own plate—play with her in the water at bath time and take her to swimming lessons. But that overarching theme in our parenting relationship remains the same.
Katie told me recently that she feels I show her a lot of trust in how she parents Louie. That really made me proud. It’s the best compliment a father could ever get. Because while I can swing and snack and swim, I will never know what it feels like to be the birthing parent.
I’m so grateful for the care she shows our girl and how she leads our growing family. I’m also thankful to live in a country where she can take a year to focus on being a mom, knowing she’ll have a job to return to. She’ll be back at it soon, and luckily, we had some throwback moments during Louie’s birthday week to ease that transition!
I noticed Louie being extra snuggly—more than she had been in ages—almost as if she could sense it too. Earlier in the week, Katie was out, so I was on bedtime duty, rocking her to sleep for the first time in a while. Later, when she was struggling to nap, I pulled her from her crib, rolled onto the “big girl” bed beside it, and contact-napped with her for the first time in what felt like forever (I think it was more for me than for her).
These kids grow up so fast it can feel jarring. It’s hard to make peace with it, but that’s also literally the point of all this—for them to grow, to discover themselves, to go on adventures, and to build lives of their own.
But the growing pains they feel in their joints and gums? We parents feel them in our souls and our hearts. So, we lean into the only Tylenol we have for that: old photos, old memories, and packing up those 0-3 month sleepers.
And sometimes, even a contact nap.
