Brood Letter 02 | Normalizing Loss & Finding Joy

by Brood

Hello all, hello fall!

It’s Gill here, one of Brood’s co-founders. I don’t know about you, but October has been a strange one, and I’m not talking about spooky pumpkin kind of stuff. Fall had a late start on the West Coast (hello climate crisis!) and with that we held two things at once – enjoying the warm days instead of the usual rain, and also being worried about the future for our families. You know, totally normal stuff! I’m fine! You’re fine! (read: everyone is not ok).

One of the other balancing acts, at least for me at Brood, has been spending a lot of my working hours talking about pregnancy loss as October is Miscarriage & Loss Awareness Month, while holding space for my own grief. Three years ago I experienced a loss in my first pregnancy at around 8 weeks. I pride myself on being an open book, so this experience was especially difficult for two reasons: I wasn’t supposed to talk about being pregnant and then I wasn’t supposed to talk about the loss. I don’t think of my personal experience of loss as much as I think about the fact that we don’t talk about the hidden grief of pregnancy. How are people supposed to be cared for, and care for others if we don’t know what’s happening? 

Conventional wisdom has always instructed pregnant people to wait until after the greatest risk of miscarriage has passed— typically marked by the end of the first trimester—to announce or share it. The unspoken rationale here is that the grief of miscarriage is one that parents should carry alone, in private. Brood’s doula Ashley Jardine writes about the need to normalize pregnancy loss and give parents the space and support to be witnessed. It’s something every parent deserves throughout their journey. 

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Thank you for being here and making space for these stories. 

 

Big virtual hugs,

Gill

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We work and live on the unceded and occupied territories of the Sḵwx̱wú7mesh Úxwumixw (Squamish), səl̓ilw̓ətaʔɬ (Tsleil-Waututh) and xʷməθkʷəy̓əm (Musqueam) Nations. Since time immemorial, the original peoples of these lands have cared for their families and communities. We are committed to honouring their teachings, legacy and their sovereignty.

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