How exciting! You’re about to have a baby—have lovingly decorated the nursery, and have finally booked into your prenatal course… It’s starting to feel like you’ve got this. Then postpartum hits—a time when your coffee is perpetually cold, your shirt mysteriously stained, and your sense of self undergoes a seismic shift. If you feel like you’ve been tossed into a whirlwind of joy, exhaustion, and identity confusion, you’re not alone. Whether you gave birth or are welcoming your baby another way, the physical, emotional, hormonal, and social transition into parenthood can turn your world upside down! Think of it as puberty’s equally tumultuous cousin, but with less sleep and a tiny human depending on you.
For those who identify as fulfilling the maternal (or birthing and postpartum) roles, it can be called “matrescence”. But the fact is, all parents go through this transition to some degree! It is profound and multifaceted, yet society often expects us to navigate it armed only with a diaper bag, limited support, a bubble bath with some candles, and a few well-meaning clichés (anyone heard the old one “Sleep when the baby sleeps”?). Spoiler alert: it’s not enough. This is precisely why building a postpartum community can be your lifeline. Support, connection, and community are your key to navigating this wild ride. It isn’t just beneficial—it’s essential to thriving in your new role.
Let’s delve into why you need this village and, more importantly, how to create it.
The importance of building a community postpartum
The postpartum period is a ride—exhilarating highs, daunting lows, and many unexpected turns. Yet, many new parents find themselves feeling like they’re riding solo, isolated from the support networks they desperately need. Gone are the days when extended families and close-knit communities naturally provided a helping hand (hello, sandwich generation!). Today, even if you have the most supportive partner, many navigate this journey feeling overwhelmed, alone, and questioning their every move. The rise of the internet and social media, combined with the “shoulds” of parenthood, is taking its toll on our mental health and well-being.
With the U.S. Surgeon General issuing a health advisory on the stress of modern parenting on parents’ mental health last year, and an unequivocal maternal mental health epidemic hiding in plain sight, evidence (e.g. Kay, Tatjana L et al., 2024) suggests that strong social connections during postpartum can reduce the risk of perinatal mood disorders, as well as boosting parenting confidence (see ya guilt and shame!), and helping you get off to the best start in your parenting journey. But in our fast-paced, individualistic society, forging these connections requires deliberate effort. So, how do you build your village? Let’s break it down.
How to build your postpartum community
Assemble your people
If you’re raising a tiny human, you’re already a superhero. And every superhero needs a team. So go ahead— it’s time to assemble your squad of postpartum Avengers.
Start with the folks already in your life and pre-emptively reach out. If you’re the first of your friends to have a baby, they might not know what to do—but asking them to drop off groceries, fold some laundry, or just hang out and keep you company gives them a clear mission. Got family in town? Book them in—whether it’s childcare for an older kid, a meal drop-off, or someone to tackle the dishes. Live next door to a fellow parent with their gang of littles? They might be in the trenches too, but chances are they’ve got tips, recommendations, or even hand-me-downs to share. And that Type A friend who lives for spreadsheets and colour-coded calendars? Put them in charge of your Meal Train.
Practicing the art of asking for help before baby arrives means you’ll be one step ahead when things get real. And they will get real. But you? You’ll be ready.
Build your postpartum specialist team
Think of this as assembling your board of directors. A postpartum doula (like the services Brood offers), pelvic floor physio, lactation consultant, clinical counsellor, and maybe even a sleep coach—these folks are your postpartum dream team. You don’t need them all at once, but knowing who’s out there and what support they offer makes a huge difference when things feel overwhelming.
Check out this page, ask around, read reviews, and find professionals who align with your values. And don’t underestimate asking at your local health clinic—many offer or can refer to free or sliding-scale services. Alternatively, if you have extended benefits, it’s worth looking into what’s covered… many of these specialists will be, at least partially.
Asking for and accepting help
We end up silently struggling because asking for help is so hard. We’ve been conditioned to equate independence with strength; that to be good, we shouldn’t bother anyone. But in postpartum, strength often looks like vulnerability—admitting, “I need help”. It’s easier said than done, but the belief that you should be able to do this on your own is unrealistic. For centuries, we’ve parented in groups, in actual villages. Every parent needs—and deserves—help.
However, even if you’re ready to take that step in voicing the need, in the haze of postpartum, sometimes we don’t even know what to ask for (apart from sleep!). Start small… hold the baby while you shower. Bring a coffee. Hold down the fort while you go for a 20-minute walk. Practice using that muscle, and it will get easier. People want to help, but they often don’t know how unless we tell them.
Join some parent and baby classes
Once you’re ready to emerge from your cozy (or chaotic?) newborn bubble and rejoin the land of the living, start by hitting up a free (aka low-pressure!) baby group at a Family Place, library, or local neighbourhood house—Vancouver is full of them. Or, sign up for a parent & baby class and get your social (and pelvic floor) muscles moving again. We’ve rounded up all the good stuff in our free “List of Parent & Baby Activities in Vancouver”—think baby yoga, music classes, tot gymnastics, and workouts that’ll make you feel human again. Seriously, go check it out—your future self will thank you.
Here at The MotherFlock, we run our own postpartum gathering—a 6-week New Parent Group at Trout Lake Community Centre in East Van, built around one simple mission: connection. Imagine crawling out of the fourth trimester fog already having a handful of badass friends who get what you’re going through because they’re living it too? That’s the vibe.
This group is all about you (yes, YOU, not just the baby). We swap stories, share local resources, hear from postpartum pros, and remind each other we’re doing a way better job than we think. You’ll leave feeling more grounded, more supported, and a whole lot less alone.
Seek out in-person connections
While a lively group chat can be a 3 AM sanity saver, nothing beats face-to-face interaction. Making mom friends isn’t just about syncing nap schedules—it’s about finding your people. Look for classes or gatherings that actually light you up. Into yoga? Roll out your mat at a local studio. Love the outdoors? Join a baby hiking or snowshoeing group. Hang out in spots where you might find like-minded people.
And even if you’re clapping along at Babytime at your local library or half-heartedly pushing a swing at the park, keep your radar up for other parents giving off good vibes. And don’t sleep on your neighbourhood coffee shop mid-morning—it’s a breeding ground for pre-park caffeine runs and tired parents hoping to sneak in a treat without a sugar-fueled toddler meltdown. Be bold, break the ice, and remember: awkward is just the first step to authentic.
Leverage online communities
The internet is a double-edged sword. On one hand, it connects us to like-minded parents worldwide. On the other hand, it can be a breeding ground for comparison and unsolicited advice. The key is finding online spaces that are supportive, non-judgmental, and foster genuine connection.
Look for private Facebook groups, community forums, or virtual postpartum support circles. Post a call-out looking for friends in the area or for stroller walking buddies. And if a space makes you feel worse about yourself, exit gracefully. Your energy is too precious.
Get swiping (the Peanut app)
Peanut is another great option, especially if you’re a little more introverted, live in a more rural area, or just aren’t vibing with in-person groups yet. Think of it as Tinder, but for tired, snack-carrying, sleep-deprived parents. You pop in your location, the ages of your kids, a few interests, and voila—you’re swiping your way to building some fab connections.
Create your own rituals of connection
Community doesn’t have to be large to be meaningful. Sometimes, it’s about cultivating small but powerful rituals with the people in your life. A weekly check-in call with a fellow new parent. A standing coffee date with your best friend. A Sunday dinner with chosen family. Your new parent friends happen to live on the other side of the world? Get a group WhatsApp going to check in, ask questions, and share support. These rituals provide consistency in a season that often feels chaotic.
A mindset shift— putting yourself out there
Honestly, though, it can be really hard to build community as a new parent. It’s an isolating time, even if it feels like you’re surrounded by people. And particularly so, if you’re not used to putting yourself out there, or are struggling with any perinatal mood or anxiety symptoms.
Sometimes the hardest part is taking that first step—sending the DM, joining the group, walking into a room where you don’t know anyone (while carrying a car seat, snack crumbs, and your last shred of energy). But here’s the truth: most other parents in that room feel the exact same way. Everyone’s a little awkward. Everyone’s a lot tired. And this parenting thing? Honestly, nobody knows what they’re doing. And most are secretly hoping someone else makes the first move. As Mel Robbins says, confidence comes from action. So be brave(ish). Put yourself out there just a little. Community doesn’t happen overnight, but it does happen—one small, courageous step at a time.
Re-define your village
Reality is, your postpartum village may not look like what you expected, and that’s okay. Maybe your people live far away, or perhaps they’re not the support system you need right now. Your community can be composed of friends, neighbours, online connections, postpartum specialists, and even kind strangers. What matters is surrounding yourself with people who uplift and support you, not those who drain you.
Give yourself permission to seek out the people who fill your cup—and let go of the ones who drain it.
Yes, postpartum can be isolating, but it doesn’t have to be. With intention, vulnerability, and a little courage, you can create the support system you deserve. Whether it’s through in-person meetups, online connections, or the steady presence of a postpartum doula, your village is out there. And if you haven’t found it yet, keep looking—because you deserve more than doing this alone.
More About the Author
Gemma Van Slyke is the founder of The MotherFlock, a community and resource hub for moms and parents navigating the wild and wonderful journey of postpartum. Based in Vancouver, she’s passionate about helping parents build meaningful connections, reclaim their identities, and thrive in parenthood. When she’s not writing or hosting postpartum groups, you’ll find her chasing her two little ones, sipping (cold) coffee, and dreaming up ways to make the postpartum period feel a little less lonely. Follow her on Instagram at @the.motherflock or visit www.themotherflock.com.
