CW: Discussions of sexuality, sex, intimacy and intercourse ahead! Also to note, when we say “sex” we also don’t just mean penetrative intercourse. This could apply to all forms of sexual intimacy!
Have you noticed changes to your sex life since becoming pregnant or having a new baby but don’t know where to look for information? If so, you’re not alone, and you’ve come to the right place! In fact, sexual changes in pregnancy and after the baby is born are so COMMON that researchers at UBC and Dalhousie Universities have developed the first online couple-based program to help expectant couples navigate these changes. Scroll to the end of the article for more information about how to get FREE access to the STORK program.
Are you currently planning your family? Expecting a new child? Or maybe you have recently given birth? Welcoming a new baby is a life-changing experience often accompanied by joy and excitement. We also know that having a baby can introduce new challenges, with one extremely common challenge having to do with changes to couples’ sexual relationships and intimacy. Despite the importance of maintaining a strong sexual connection for relationship well-being, physical and mental health, very few couples take time to prepare for the changes that can emerge in their sexual relationships during the transition to parenthood. And we get it, there is a LOT going on already!
At The University of British Columbia’s Sexuality and Well-Being Lab (SWell), we conduct research to understand the factors that lead some couples to thrive during pregnancy and the postpartum while others struggle. We then use this research to develop resources to help couples navigate these changes together.
How will your intimacy change during pregnancy and the postpartum period?
During the perinatal period (pregnancy and up to one year postpartum), up to 88% of people who give birth and up to 45% of their partners face challenges with their sex life and intimacy including decreased libido (i.e., sexual desire), pain during sex, and concerns about sex such as body image or fears about the safety of sex during pregnancy (spoiler alert: for healthy pregnancies, it won’t harm the baby, and if you’re worried about it, consult your primary healthcare provider).
These types of challenges generally get more intense throughout pregnancy but often begin to improve around or after three months postpartum. You also may be encouraged to hear that despite sexual challenges being common, 64% of couples still report being sexually satisfied during the perinatal period.
There is an information gap!
In a recent study sampling 204 couples across Canada and the United States, we found that most expectant and new parents received little-to-no information about changes to their sexuality. Our study also showed that when couples do receive information, it is often related to things like safety of sexual activity in pregnancy, contraception, and when to “resume sex” in the postpartum.
What’s missing is reassurance that changes to sexuality and desire are common during this time, as well as advice on how to manage these changes. Information about the sexuality of the partner who didn’t give birth is also lacking, even though both members of the couple are affected. Expectant and new parents want a variety of information to help them be better prepared.
Unfortunately, health-care professionals feel they have a lack of knowledge and training to talk about sexual health with expectant and new parents, and worry that doing so would make them and/or their patients feel uncomfortable. However, our research showed that most couples would welcome these conversations.
If you are an expectant or new parent and you’ve been noticing changes in your sexual or intimate relationships, here’s some good news: Our research shows that when couples receive more information about what to expect regarding changes to their sex lives in pregnancy or the postpartum period (like what you’ve read here) they report greater desire, engage in sex more often, feel more sexually satisfied, and feel less worried about their sex lives.
If you want to learn more, our lab is currently recruiting couples expecting their first child for a PAID research study. If you decide to participate, you will get FREE access to the first online couple-based program which is designed to strengthen your sexual relationship across the transition to parenthood. The STORK (Supporting the Transition to Parenthood with Online Sexual and Relationship Knowledge) program includes 6 interactive modules featuring information about changes to sexuality during pregnancy and the postpartum based on our research, as well as activities to work through with your partner. Our goal for the study is to collect feedback (we’ll pay you for your time!) on the STORK program as we continue its development, and get a sense of how helpful the program is for couples’ sexual well-being.
We are looking for couples who:
- Want information about changes to their sex life during pregnancy and the postpartum
- Are less than 26 weeks gestation (less than 32 weeks if LGBTQIA2S+)
- Have no previous children together (previous pregnancies do not affect eligibility)
- Have not received instruction from a healthcare professional to avoid sexual activity during pregnancy
- Have been in a relationship for at least 1 year and currently live together
- Are both willing to participate
If this sounds like you, email us at STORK@dal.ca for more information or fill out this contact form to participate: https://qualtrics.ca1.qualtrics.com/jfe/form/SV_0MPyLcurzaMwy3k.
