Parenting is not for the faint of heart, and navigating its demands requires an immense amount of strength and tenderness at the same time. As parents, we often find ourselves taxed and fully engaged in ways we never anticipated. It’s a chapter of life that demands more from us than perhaps any other. In the midst of caring for our children, it’s crucial to remember the importance of caring for ourselves. Here we’ll explore some ways to help you reset and realign, providing tenets to return to when you’re unsure where to begin. 

From sleep routines and movement patterns to nutrition and personal fulfilment, let’s explore ways to support ourselves as we embark on this extraordinary journey of parenthood.

Come back to these tenets when you are unsure where to begin – in caring for yourself, and taking inventory. Ask yourself:

• How is your sleep? Can you create scaffolding to have better routines around bedtime for yourself?
• What are your activity and movement patterns? Are there ways you can incorporate movement into your daily life as a parent? Are there any classes (online, or in person) that you have been interested in attending? What activities make you feel joyful and embodied, as opposed to expected and targeted? 
• What does your personal nourishment and nutrition look like? Can you get more support in prioritising this for yourself? What does streamlining and/or sharing this process look like for you?
• What makes you feel purposeful? How can you begin introducing elements of this into your daily life? How can over time, you begin to grow and do more of what makes you feel purpose? 

In becoming parents, our own personal experience of being parented arises – this can be very difficult for some folks, and cause deeper hardships in our parenting journeys. 

Resourcing yourself, to then have a more regulated state when coming to these (usually daily) moments will allow spaciousness. As you parent your child, especially if it’s different from how you were parented – you are reparenting yourself as well. This is no simple, straightforward or easy task – give yourself as much grace as possible when moving through those moments.  The process of reparenting involves addressing and fulfilling our own emotional or physical needs that were unmet during our childhood. These needs may encompass affection, security, routines and structure, emotional regulation, and compassion. We are often faced with this concept as we become parents ourselves, so just know that if becoming a parent feels like it’s bringing up a lot, it’s with good reason! 

If this is acutely, and frequently activating to you – consider having a therapist (with standing appointments) who can hold you and help you safely explore this landscape.

It is a common experience to always weigh your needs against your baby’s needs. What’s best for your baby, may not be what’s best for you – finding the balance of those two things is key to finding what works for your overall family unit. Considering that your babies’ needs will most likely rely on your body and mind, what are the ways in which you can make sure your needs are being met?

Parenting guilt has most likely been a part of your life since you met your baby – this is a cruel and universal experience. Leaving many parents deeply affected by it, and unable to get their needs met as they feel this guilt. Be sure to have awareness of when you tend to feel guilty, share your experience with other parents and take care of yourself as much as you can. 

Finding your personal flow in parenting will allow you to lean into that as scaffolding, especially in moments of hardship and indecision. The ways in which you live and cope as an individual will be reflective of the ways you do so in parenting – examining and being mindful of this will allow you to be a more resourced parent.

• Who (or what) will I reach for when I am unsure and am looking for answers?
• Who do I have in my community, that parents like I wish to?
• What experts am I aligned to? Who will guide our family in this way?
• What can me and my partner do to reconnect and calm our nervous systems together – to move through parenting disagreements?
• What parenting misalignments can you foresee having to hash out? How can you prepare for those conversations?
• What are some things I can do when everything feels overwhelming for our whole family? What are coping mechanisms for myself as an individual?
• Do I want to prepare ahead of time for milestones or have a more “wing it approach?” Will I have a more structured or intuitive approach to parenting?
• Who are the people we trust to be with our kids? What are the resources/systems in place for our kids when they need care?

Creating remembrance of your parenting journey through photos, voice notes, videos (and anything else that feels accessible) – can help mark the time, work, and emotions that you have felt. Honouring these markers can bolster you as you reflect on your parenting journey, and find the celebrations throughout. Getting your community involved in this project is a simple way for them to be a part of your parenthood while witnessing you as well.