The Real Talk About Baby Showers
You might have stumbled upon this post on it’s own, OR you got here from Part 1 of How to Host a Baby Shower That Doesn’t Suck. Either way, you’ve come to the right place. Since that piece was such a success (clearly we all want better showers, FOR ALL!) I thought I would break it down even further and give step-by-step instructions, suggestions and checklists for those who are brave enough to break the mold! I know you want to.
The Goal: Make It About The Parent(s)-To-Be
Let’s start here: a baby shower is not about the decorations, the games, the Instagram moment, or proving you’re a good friend by pulling off some elaborate theme. A baby shower is about celebrating someone who’s about to become (or another) parent, letting them feel supported and loved, and gathering your people.
When you focus on that, everything else gets easier.
The Date: Timing Matters
You can have the baby shower whenever you want, but generally speaking, timing is based on what works for the pregnant person.
The sweet spot: 4-6 weeks before the due date. Early enough that parents can set up anything they receive, late enough that the pregnant person doesn’t feel like they’re showing up to celebrate themselves while barely leaving the bathroom.
The practical reality: Pick a day that works for the person being celebrated. If they work weekends, do it on a weekday. If they’re exhausted in the morning, do it afternoon. If they’re managing other kids, maybe do it when those kids are in school or can be cared for.
The invitation window: Send invites 4-6 weeks out. This gives people time to plan, order gifts, and arrange childcare or travel if needed.
The Vibe: Make It Manageable
Here’s the secret that changes everything: a good party has focus, good food, and a reason people want to be there. That’s it.
Most showers try to do too much: elaborate games nobody enjoys, complicated food, decorations that take hours, pressure to mingle with people who don’t know each other. Strip that back.
The best showers have:
1. Good food (people eat, people are happy)
2. Easy socializing (not forced group games, just hanging out)
3. Time for the person being celebrated to feel celebrated
4. A clear start and end time (respect people’s schedules)
5. No weird gendered moments (unless that’s specifically what the person wants)
The Format: You Have Options
Option 1: Traditional Shower (But Make It Better)
- Time: 2-3 hours, mid-afternoon (2-5 PM works well)
- Guest list: 15-30 people depending on your space
- Focus: Food, conversation, maybe a couple activities
- What to do:
- Have actual food, not just crudités and cheese (see food section below)
- Skip forced games; instead, have an optional sign-a-onesie station or guest book
- Let people arrive, eat, chat, hang out
Option 2: “Blessing Way” or Circle Gathering
Some families prefer a smaller, more intimate gathering focused on acknowledging the pregnant person’s journey. This can be beautiful and less stressful than a traditional shower.
What this looks like:
- Smaller group (10-20 people max, usually close friends/family)
- More vulnerable, less “event-ified”
- Might include a blessing ritual, sharing advice, or simply sitting together
- Still includes food and celebration, just lower-key
Option 3: Co-Ed Shower
Normalize having partners, dads, and other family involved. Showers don’t need to be gendered. If the person being celebrated wants their partner there, make it happen.
Option 4: Casual Brunch or Dinner
Skip the “shower” framing entirely. Just get people together for brunch, a backyard dinner, or a casual hangout. No games, no pressure, just community.
The Food: Keep It Real
Think classic charcuteries, mini sandwiches (tea time vibes), and snacking foods. Most showers are midday or mid-afternoon, so aim for snack-and-light-meal energy, not a full dinner.
What works:
- Charcuterie boards — Easy to assemble, looks great, people graze. Mix cheese, cured meats, crackers, fruit, nuts.
- Mini sandwiches or wraps — Finger-food friendly, can be made ahead
- Fruit and veggie platters — Especially if the pregnant person is managing weird cravings or sensitivities
- Dips and bread — Hummus, salsa, spinach artichoke dip, bruschetta
- Desserts — Cupcakes, cookies, brownies (things people can grab)
- Nuts and snack mix
What doesn’t work:
- Anything too fancy that requires last-minute plating
- Salads that get soggy
- Foods that are hard to eat standing up
- Anything that needs to stay at a specific temperature for hours
Drinks: A mimosa bar is genuinely genius. Set out champagne (or sparkling cider for the pregnant person), orange juice, and maybe one other juice option. Let people make their own. You or your host don’t need to lift a finger.
The Focus
Okay, this is the real game-changer: the focus should be on the person being celebrated, not on entertainment.
If you’re like me and you really don’t like opening gifts in front of everyone (that specific energy is weird for a lot of people), do this instead:
- Have people write brief notes or advice on cards to add to the gift, or
- Ask guests to write something to the baby on onesies/bibs to add to the collection, or
- Save gift-opening for later, one-on-one
You don’t need games. You don’t need forced fun. You need people who care, good food, and a chance for everyone to hang out, chat, and maybe tell the person being celebrated that they’re going to do great.
The Invite List: Start With Who Matters
This part can be one of the most stressful things for people, and I get it. The pressure to invite the “right” people, manage expectations, handle hurt feelings.
Start with this question: Who does the person being celebrated actually want there? Start with that number. Then ask: who else would they genuinely want to see?
Then:
- Be realistic about your space (size of your home, outdoor area)
- Factor in that not everyone will RSVP yes
- Don’t invite people out of obligation (especially if the pregnant person doesn’t want them there)
- If someone is an “anti-mom” or energy-draining, they don’t need to come
- If you’re on a tight budget, a smaller, intimate shower is better than a stressful, huge one
The invite:
- Send physical invites if it’s formal; text or Facebook event if it’s casual
- Give RSVPs a 2-week deadline
- Include registry link if there is one, or note that gifts are optional
- Make it easy for people to say “I can’t make it” (some people will, and that’s okay)
The Decor: Don’t Overdo It
I’m a creative person, so I don’t get stressed about decor. But when you search Pinterest for baby shower ideas, you’ll see thousand dollar setups with elaborate balloon installations and custom signage. You don’t need that.
What actually looks good:
- Giant balloons (or a couple bundles of whatever color you like) — $20-100 at a party store or online
- Fresh flowers for the table — A grocery store bouquet works, or grab wildflowers
- String lights or simple garland — Adds atmosphere without fuss
- Tablecloths if you want them — They hide the mess
Optional:
- Buy a simple garland online or find a crafty friend to make one you can reuse for birthdays to come (my friends did this with felt and I use it for my kids birthday EVERY year! It’s such a beautiful keepsake)
- Use candles for ambient lighting if it’s not in the evening
- A simple banner with the person’s name or “Baby [Name]” shower
What you don’t need:
- Elaborate themes
- Custom signage
- Elaborate centerpieces
- Balloon arches (unless you really love them)
Honestly? Good food, good lighting, and people you like beats Pinterest decor every time.
The Music: Set a Vibe
Music matters more than people think. It sets the energy for the whole thing.
Option 1: Create a playlist ahead of time with a mix of:
- Upbeat but not overwhelming songs (no aggressive metal or sad indie)
- Mix of genres so there’s something for everyone
- Keep volume at conversation level (people should be able to talk)
Option 2: Use Spotify’s pre-made playlists (search “brunch,” “chill vibes,” or “feel-good”)
Option 3: If you have a musician or DJ friend, see if they’d like to provide live music (often people will do this for free or cheap as a gift) or ask them to make you a special playlist.
The Timeline
4-6 weeks before: Decide on date, time, format, and guest list
3-4 weeks before: Send invites, start thinking about food/decor, create Spotify playlist
1-2 weeks before: Confirm RSVPs, do any shopping (non-perishables, decor, supplies), prep any food that can be made ahead
3 days before: Buy perishables, prep any food that stores well
Day before: Set up decor (balloons, flowers, tables), do any final food prep, chill drinks
Day of: Arrive early to set up, put out food 15 minutes before guests arrive, actually enjoy it
The Real Talk
Becoming a parent is a magical and challenging experience. You’ll be battling people’s opinions and unsolicited advice for years. A shower that makes you feel supported, loved, and celebrated matters. It’s not frivolous; it’s a community saying “we’ve got you.”
The best shower isn’t the one with the most elaborate decorations or games nobody enjoyed. It’s the one where you felt held by your people. Where you laughed, felt seen, and left knowing that people care about you and this wild journey you’re about to be on.
Everything else—the balloons, the games, the napkins—is just the backdrop for that.
Quick Planning Checklist
[ ] Decide date and time with the person being celebrated
[ ] Determine format (traditional, casual, blessing way, etc.)
[ ] Create invite list with the person’s input
[ ] Send invites 4-6 weeks out
[ ] Source food items (decide: making or buying?)
[ ] Create simple decor plan (balloons, flowers, lights)
[ ] Make music playlist
[ ] Confirm RSVPs
[ ] Do final shopping/prep 1-2 days before
[ ] Show up, be present, have a good time
If You’re the Person Being Celebrated
You’re allowed to ask for what you actually want. Don’t smile and nod through a shower you hate. You can:
- Request a smaller gathering instead
- Ask not to open gifts in front of people
- Say no to games you find stressful
- Invite people your host thinks you “should” invite
- Change the format entirely
- Thinking about your registry or baby shower gifts? Here are the top ten things we think you actually need postpartum!
This is your party. Make it work for you.
What Comes After
A shower is lovely, but what actually helps is support after the baby arrives. If you’re close to this person:
- Bring meals in the early weeks
- Offer to do a load of laundry
- Ask what they actually need (not what Instagram says they need)
- Come by to hold the baby so they can shower, or better yet, clean the house and they can hold the baby!
- Normalize the messy, hard parts of early parenthood, that’s the real gift.
